Sunday, April 4, 2010

Catch 22 Sparkles

Isn't life full of Catch 22 situations? I wonder if we ever notice all of those times we are in the proverbial "crack" between a "rock and a hard place"? Today I'm in the "crack". My dilemma is our usual Easter traditions -egg hunt ,big meal, friends and The Picture on the Front Porch. Everything is great and wonderful but the situation is bittersweet. Easter was always a very big gathering of all the children and grandchildren,friends and DOZENS of eggs. Hundreds and hundreds of eggs that took an hour to hide. The scavenger hunt eggs that required prizes at the end of the hunt. BIG-BIG traditions to deal with here.Part of the dilemma is the picture -for me-on the front porch. We are missing a very significant part of this picture--Grandpa,PaPa and the many other names given to him. NO one could start hunting until the picture was taken and then we started with the babies. After the babies was the next appropriate age group until all were eventually allowed to hunt. Everyone needed a fair start at the hunt so all had somewhat of an equal amount or at least everyone was content with their portion. We then gathered in the main room to check the "booty". Candy,bunnies,prizes--all the catch of the day. Of course noone escaped grandpa raiding their stash of goodies. He would try to tell all the "GOLDEN EGG" they found with the money inside was also his to claim---someone had to reimburse the Easter Bunny? I had figured over the last two years since loosing PaPa everyone had adjusted to not doing the holidays as we had celebrated before--you know change things up alittle. WRONG-WRONG on my figuring. I was shown that today by a very upset child of mine. I made a promise today to "do better next Easter". I was shown as the surviving parent that sometimes the Catch 22 is to choose between getting past my pain and seeing my child's pain. Pain is pain and the pain caused by a death is everyday and relived in many memories. Today -this Easter- I put down my pain and pick up the pain of my child. I will put on my Bling and Sparkle for that child. Let the hunt begin........ after the picture on the front porch.  Have a Blessed Easter and shine on.

3 comments:

  1. Wow! Your words hit me like a wave and the tears starting flowing. Everyday I'm consumed with my pain and how much I hurt...you reminded me I need to reach out and just maybe my pain will be alittle less...thanks! Love you!

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  2. Nothing is greater than love. Grandpa may not be there but the memories are in everyone hearts and minds. Prissy you are an amazing woman and it shows in everything you do. May the love of God, family and friends help you find peace. Love you! Oh and Freddie I'm with you - crying like a baby - at work none the less.

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  3. I've sat at my computer trying to type just the right words. I've erased and started over many times now. What are the right words?
    I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I have no idea what hurt and pain you have had to experience. I ache for you and your family.

    You were missed Sunday. I pray that there will come a day when holidays are not so painful.

    You are thought of often, Prissy. I had so much fun at your Mary Kay party. It was wonderful to see your smile and hear your laughter!

    Prayers and hugs. Love you.

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